I went off alone to see _The Butterfly Effect_, a truly weird movie made in a distant and pale likeness to _The Lathe of Heaven_. It was, nonetheless, an OK movie if not a bit disturbing. It brought to me obsessive thoughts of what might my life have been if only I made different choices. Thankfully those thoughts are abating especially since I cannot change the past, and if I could, the temporal police would whisk me away. So there, the universe is deterministic, timecops compelling. Or, are we solitons resonating through an enormous lattice of all possibilities, our consciousness illuming a path through the myriad of determined worldliness, our choices being the Art of the unique tracery we call our life?
I asked myself a lot of questions about choices, earlier in my life. A lot of "what if..." scenarios. It all came back to whether where I am is a bad place. I had to admit for all the hardships and sacrifices I might have made for other paths, nothing gave a certainty of a better outcome for myself or anyone else. Of course, I've had dreams where I've woken up in another timepath, but I always wake up again here...